Jeff’s birthday was Sunday and it’s extra monumental as this marks the 10th year since his last birthday with his family.
Since losing Jeff, as monumental days such as his birthday or the anniversary of his passing approach, all my trains of thought collide. “How will I honor him?” “Will others remember him?” “Am I doing the right thing by doing the work that I do to honor him?” “How long should I do this work?” “Am I being impactful?” “Should I keep going?” “Have I done enough?” And as all these thoughts collide, there’s a swelling in my heart outside of my control. I feel his presence more, but also his absence more. All at once.
Oddly, I have been asked several times in the past few weeks why I named Truth Pharm what I did. So, I tell them: When I lost Jeff, the overdose epidemic was referred to as a “Heroin Epidemic” when in reality at that time, more people were losing their lives to prescription opioids than all other drugs combined. But, no one was talking about that. By labeling it as a “Heroin Epidemic” over a more broad term, they were demonizing a substance, adding stigma to the issue AND they were evading putting blame on the true culprits, Big Pharma. As I was trying to figure out WHAT I wanted to do to have an impact on the overdose epidemic, I knew that Big Pharma’s role in the epidemic was something that needed to be exposed and elevated. I also said that if I were starting an organization, we were going to be one that always told the truth. The “heart” reason it became Truth Pharm (as Corky would say), is because before I lost Jeff he was lobbying with his brothers to turn our property back into farmland to support his dream of owning a farm to table restaurant. Thus, Truth Pharm was born.
I interviewed for this story in early May, but it was published just 3 days before his Birthday and look how it ties into my original goals for Truth Pharm and even our name. Kind of blows my mind.
I was blessed with a dream visit last week. He was worried about something one moment, laughing the next, and orchestrating people, just as he always was.
Thank you Jeff. Happy Birthday to you baby. I miss you.